The Burnt Identity

How I Wasted 200 Bucks on Diwali..

2011-10-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

If only SRK had an iota of shame or self-respect, he’d place his head on the rail track at the Bandra station and let the local train roll over it.

That’s the only way to ensure that incompetent dickheads like him never raise their ‘head’ to unleash monstrosities like RA.ONE on the hapless public ever again.

Folks, it boggles the mind that this billionaire producer SRK entrusted Rs 150-crore or wateva-hundred crore to this imbecile Anubhav Sinha ( Maker of Trash such as Cash ) to create the "NEXT BIG THING" in hindi cinema.

It just proves that you can be a billionaire in Mumbai and still be soft in the head.

There are far too many problems with this piece of shit RA.ONE making it a ceaseless affront to viewers. Why u ask ?

Well for starters, there’s the gratuitous, self-defecating comedy angle featuring stupid Condom Jokes and suggestive groping of Kareena which stoops down to new levels of crassness unseen by even those guys down at Kollywood. The chutiya hairstyle of the Child actor. Aging Sanjay Dutt.

Caricaturish Tamil Accents eg. "yella-Rascalla " and so on. Aargh !!

Tis’ no exaggeration to say that a troupe of monkeys would provide better entertainment than the entire RA.ONE menagerie.

The story which by now is well known, involves Shekhar Subramanium A.K.A appa (SRK) who is a video game designer who decides to create a game wherein the Villain (RA.ONE) is endowed with Chawanprash like SuperHuman Strength and Invincible power over who else G.ONE ( who funnily resembles appa himself).

Meanwhile Ra.One escapes to the real world to kill appa's Son/Daughter How G.ONE fights Ra.One forms the rest of this technological Trash !!

Q:)How does RA.One come out of the game to kill SRK's Son/Daughter ?

(confusion is justified looking at this kids hairdo)

Ans : Nahi Malum , Apparently this was considered to silly to be explained to the viewers.

Which i hope they do not explain in the Sequel !!!

BTW this Bullshit A.K.A Ra.One contains innumerable south indian type fights,

The Gay Airport Security Check dude. (Yuck !!)

The pelvic Thrusting Power Yoga technique which would put BABA Ramdev's wierd asanas to shame.

A nepali Junior Artist who looks like Agent. Smith ( Matrix-wala Gunda) and Our Very own

RAJNI 'Saar' who doesnt do anything apart from displaying his usual circus-like stunts involving his Sunglasses and in this case, his jacket.

Tragically for the paying audience, each of the various angles (romance, the scientific, criminal, comic et al) is half-baked and comes across as bizarrely silly.

To describe Kareena's performance in Ra.ONE as merely bad would be to subject ourselves to endless ridicule. Because the twit’s performance was insufferably horrid.

Absolutely clueless in acting and hopelessly graceless in dancing, Kareens’s sole claim to fame is her face and the Kapoor khandaan fame, and mercifully, since it’s starting to show signs of aging we won’t have to put up with this Shani of an actress for long.

To see her on the screen, padded tits, affected mannerisms and all, is a most off-putting sight and a trial we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy.

I'm having a hard time figuring who’s the worst actor – this aging twit or her husband SRK or the son/daughter combo Child Actor or the imported stupid Nepali "Agent.Smith" villain.

and yeah the only Saving grace is Mr. Arjun Rampal who somehow is tolerable in between this ceaseless Crude Shit of a movie.

The Special Effects ( A Not so-Special Comment)

To those who have the temerity to tell me that the special effects are mind-blowing, i can politely say Please Fuck Off .

The effects are alright, particularly toward the end but still no big deal.

No big deal.

Simply because we’ve seen better in a gazillion Hollywood films including in I Robot, Terminator, Transformers. All three by the way inspiring parts of this Ra.One junk.

Say No to Ra.One

Guys, if you value your money, if you value your time and if you value art and entertainment in movies, do not even consider watching this fart of a movie a.k.a. Ra.One

You don’t even have to look too far beyond the patina of the computer-generated graphics to realize this is one helluva stinker.

We put our head under the guillotine and squandered Rs. 230 ( 30 more for the 3-D effect !!) on this junk so that you wouldn’t have to endure agony.

Now, slowly open your middle finger and raise it as high as possible to this apotheosis of trash a.k.a. Ra.one.

I cant criticize this 150 Cr. Worth of crap enough !! phew...words fail here.

Ra.One got owned. Here's Why.

2011-10-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the multiplex, I was just hoping that I'd go back home with a sane mind and write this blog post to prevent fellow cine-goers from watching the horribly made Ra.One. From what was going on in the background (read: The Film) and what was going in mind, there were some highlights that would paint an "Eww-Bullshit" picture of Ra.One.

1. First things first. Over-acting seems to sprout in all latest bolly films. Being a South Indian does not mean they talk shit like "Aiyayo wo-my-gaad save me raja" all the time. Also, its time Kareena came out of her Jab we met style of acting, its just way too much footage for the time she's there on screen.

2. Dialogues. These are supposed to be the elements that shape up a scene and emotions associated. I guess the dialogue writers were on a high and wrote shit all through out the movie. I mean, Deshdrohi's dialogues still send a shiver up my spine!

3. Cinematography. Plain jane cinematography. Compared with panoramic shots in Krissh and amazing camera work in Don, Ra.one lacks the necessary sophistication that a superhero / action movie requires. Bloody hell, didn't you guys see spiderman?

4. Story. Not Applicable.

The VFX part might pull people to the screens, but trust me you wouldn't notice that if you weren't looking for it. The first 10 minutes get you bored to the core and the 3D is a fringe that has been so badly used by film makers in recent times, Ra.One stands no exception to this rule.

I'd call the entire package an agonising waste of money, an effort to extort the public by promising awesomeness, a sham in superhero flicks and permanent stain on king khan's image.

Ra.One. Disgusting.

Dum Maaro Dum: Review

2011-04-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Dum Maaro Dum. 2011. Bollywood just proved its worth with this movie. The Sippy-Bacchan connection rocked in "Sholay", now, 4 decades later; the juniors deliver. So what is this movie all about?

DMD explores the Goan paradise, with all its beaches, natural beauty, the Rodrigues, the d'Costas, half naked phoren chicks and piles and piles and piles of drugs. And how one bad-turned-good cop rapes the hell out of the drug mafia.

Long story short (without the spoilers of course), AB Jr. plays ACP Vishnu Kamat in Goa, takes on the drug mafia and succeeds in the end to destroy the mafia, but in a very very unusual way.

Also, this being the main story, along the sidelines run the lives of locals and how their lives are affected by the raves et al. The cover is provided convincingly well by Prateik (Dhobi Ghat Dhobi) who plays Lorry. (Not the vehicle, come on! Get your act together.. Its Goa!). And Rana Dagubatti plays this amazing musician dude who holds the story together. Bipasha Basu plays Zoe, a sophisticated translator-slut for the bad guy Aditya Pancholi. All of them deliver, however small their roles were. Including Vidya Balan (Paa continuity?)

The background score, cinematography match that of phirang standards. Pritam's music (wherever he copied that from) is as the aunty sitting next to me said "Thik Thak". "Mit Jaaye Gham" by Padukone is like extending the Nescafe Deepika Shake with a 100 others. Bosco-Cesar have done an excellent job with the choreography. Zeenat would be proud.

But its the screenplay, story and the dialogues that made my brain do a few backflips in the movie. The number of twists and turns in this movie far exceed the curls in Ketaki Rastogi's hair.

My verdict: Must watch. Must watch again. And again (should the ticket prices drop further, I say again). If you don't watch this flick you're probably going to forever think Abhishek's no match for his papa. At least he's getting somewhere.

Rating: 3.5/5.0

The Myth and the Movie : Raavan's Review (Hindi)

2010-06-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

India is a land of myths. Great stories about impossibly good & generous people have their roots here. One such tale is that of Lord Ram. His story is a perfect example of good always winning over evil and how good will always prevail and eventually end being the victor. Hell, why am I boring the readers ( do I have any?) with these details that we are very well aware of? That's because, even though this epic tale of good and evil has traversed generations, we DO NOT know what is good.. or evil. This is where Ratnam's epic master piece comes in. Mani Ratnam's Raavan is an awakening, an entry into a new dimension, a vortex that sucks you back into the origin and spits you into another world; a world where thinking is logical and not preprogrammed.

Raavan focuses on the anti hero character, Beera, played to a somewhat convincing level by Abhishek Bachchan. The other big names in the movie include the ageing "beauty" Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and south indian actor, "Chiyaan" Vikram. The story begins with Beera pulling off a classic Raavan (mythological bad guy reference) when he kidnaps the wife (read Aishwarya / stupid whining b!@#$) of the Superintendent of Police D.P. Sharma (Vikram). What follows is the regular Ramayan.. yes.. complete with Hanuman (Govinda).

But ofcourse, it IS a Mani Ratnam film.. so the guys at Madras Talkies wouldn't just pull off a 21st century Ramayan, there's got to be a twist, right? Atleast that was what I and Shriraj Misra expected. Unfortunately, the entire first half had no clue to what the story is about.. classic Mani style. So, after an uninteresting first half, which only had Aishwarya shouting things like "Main marne se nahi darti "; and showing an ample lot of cleavage in the sabyasachi dress with a plunging neckline (futile attempts at still-young-at-heart); and Abhishek shouting words like "Chakachakachaka..", we hoped to see the mystery unfold in the second half. And so it did.

This is where an avid Mani Ratnam fan like me, realises what he wants to convey in his latest offering. The message is simple: There is no good, no evil. It's just the perception that is good or evil; and it differs person to person.

The cinematography of Santosh Sivan and Manikandan captures the finest details of the Kerela forests and its huge waterfalls. A.R.Rahman has done a great job on the background score and music, without which the movie would have lacked grandeur.

In all, Raavan is a montage of myth, logic and a HELL lot of thinking. Mani Ratnam is indeed a genius.

My Rating: 3.0/5.0

Cybersex gone wrong (or right)!

2009-07-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

First of all, don't give Lun@tik a hard time for this post. Don't get offended by this because this is well...not offensive, and pretty funny.

Now, many of us who lurk on the internet for the majority of the day (read: me) know the saga of one 'bloodninja'. You see, lonely individuals in the US, and everywhere else for that matter like to 'cyber' (cybersex through IMs) once in a while.

Maybe Mr. Bloodninja was born to exploit this loneliness, or to destroy the happiness of these horny individuals. All I know is, these true cybersex stories are the funniest I've ever read. Kudos Mr. Ninja.

-------------------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k

--------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an s**t?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B**ch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

---------------------

Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.

--------------------------

I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
SexyKarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get f**kin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
SexyKarla17: what the f**k?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.

------------------------------

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh s**t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women...
J-Dogg: S**it just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dips**t.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

---------------------------

There are a couple of more, but they are too long to print in one post. Go here:

http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html

Hmmm...date...wats in it?

2009-05-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in front of my computer, I'm online, I'm looking at the orkut page that says personal.

Every other detail is filled.. except the "my idea of a perfect date"

I wonder what it is.. I wonder what does make a date, or for that reason, make it perfect.

Now from what I've heard, dates are these really slushy periods in one's love life where a boy pairs up with girl he'd wish to share a few hours with. They watch a movie together, smell the salty air of the beach, sit on the sand, talk about their little lives, kiss goodnight and walk back to their homes.

But on a deeper note, if you think and analyze each of the "modules" of a date, there are tough parts that you'd wish never to go on one

1- The entire period appears too coochie-coochie, so its going to be "girly", so guys who love to be guys, sod off.
Girls going out with machos aren't going to get their coochie-coochies, so the date has a good chance that it flops, unless the girl isn't a superhot cheerleader, and unless the guy's not Channing Tatum..

2-They spend a few hours together... what's in that?, they coulda done that neways... y a special day???!!

3-They watch a movie together... but thats not the only part... hell knows what goes on in the dark.. good if it does (:p) ... if nothings' on, they both are suckers... either you gotta have da balls to do something.. or nevr mind a date at all

4-Go to the beach... lets see.. who gets their pants dirty for enjoying? And probably they might have walked all the way from the movie to the beach, they're probably sweating, and to top it all they've got salt in the air! sticky!..

5-Talk about their lives... they could have got that on orkut.. that's what them testimonials are for, except for the stupid ones of course!

6-Now if after all that ruckus, they still thought they should kiss, then they're trully in love, if they don't.. the dates a flop..

I may not be an expert on such stuff, but hey, based on logical thinking and reasoning, the photoshop sessions were better...

Dev D: Review

2009-02-06T02:05:00.000-08:00

A month back when I heard the soundtracks of the movie, and when I came to know that it was a 'Dark Comedy' on Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyaya's Devdas, I wondered if Anurag Kashyap was indeed making something that will make the general public laugh their asses off... but I realized today that i was wrong

Kashyap's latest offering is 'loosely based on the real Devdas', and is a portrayal of a modern day devdas, played wonderfully well by Abhay Deol, who makes the character believable. Playing a rich drunkard kid, who is back to India from the UK, is tough, when the character involves being in a trance 24x7, smoking frequently and dunking bottles of vodka, and craving for sex, one has to admit Deol's makes a perfect Dev, you can't ask more input from the kid

The cinematography, editing, background, sarcasm of the dialogues score just add to the raw emotion of the scenario. Amit Trivedi's beautiful mixing of sound...and the occasional shallowing of music just makes the movie different from other bollywood flicks

All the other actors have done their part convincingly well, perfection all the way..

Kashyap's portrayal of Delhi's darkest streets, aided by beautiful camera work adds icing to the cake..

Different movie, different music, nice cast, superb editing, bold dialogues, all leading to self actualization of Dev...overall, nice movie, just be careful not to take your parents with you, if they don't put up so well to the sentences like:"Do you touch yourself?" or "I'm not going to suck every cock that comes my way!"...........

My Rating:4.5/5..

Ghajini: Review

2008-12-25T08:30:00.000-08:00

Ah. Christmas time. Millions of people across the world are enjoying this day of wonder and merriment. Thousands of them are meeting and greeting loved ones, playing video games with cousins, drinking eggnog, singing carols, opening presents, and basically having an awesome time. Me? I watched Ghajini.

Ghajini tries to be 3 movies in one.... 3 shit movies in one. One's a half-baked psychological thriller, one's an all-out action flick, and the last (better) one is a love story. For the unitiated, this movie's a remake of the Tamil Ghajini, which is a ripoff of Memento - a masterpiece by Chris Nolan (the same sexy bastard who made The Dark Knight).

Here's the plot. Don't worry I'm not spoiling anything. Whatever I'm typing is explained within 10 minutes into the movie. Aamir Khan is a guy who has short term memory loss. That means he can only remember things for 15 minutes. To get by, he takes pictures of things and people around him. The reason for his memory loss is an unfortunate incident which involved a guy killing his fiance and bashing his head open.

Anyway, what follows is a bullshit story involving Jiah Khan (whiny little bitch), playing a character that is neither required, nor taken anywhere. Aamir Khan is required to scream and make surprised expressions for the remainder of the movie.

The flashback scenes involving Asin and Aamir's story are much better though. They are funny in parts, but fall absolutely flat in others. The 'Natak' or the mushy factor is off-the-scale in this movie. For eg: Lady helping physically disabled kids cross a museum entrance, helping old guys cross the street, saving little girls from surprise buttsecks, etc. My Dad was ERPM (Eye-Rolls-Per-Minute) meter was higher in this movie than ever before.

But this is my main beef with this movie.
Number 1: The movie takes such a great concept of Anterograde Amnesia but doesn't do anything with it. Its a wasted opportunity. A mere tacked on gimmick. Memento was a film that was totally based around the ailment. Ghajini, however, treats Aamir's character more as a psychopath rather than a tragic anti-hero.
Number 2: My other problem is how the movie throws the laws of physics and the human body out the window. Now, Bollywood has long shed the concept of one-man taking down an army of bad guys. Newer hindi flicks try to be more realistic, or atleast more subtle. The guys in South India though, are still fixated by the concept of heroes having superhuman strength and resilience. When I see Rajnikanth brewing up a storm with his foot, I smile because that's what Tamil movies are supposed to show. When I see Aamir Khan punching a guy so that he flies 10 feet away, I groan.

All in all, Ghajini has no plot, the ending is super lame, the length is too much, and sadly, I think this movie might sell a lot of tickets. Memento was a million times better, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (the other film of this season) was a 100 times better, and though I havn't seen the tamil Ghajini, I don't think it can be as bad as this; atleast it had Oru Maalai.

Wrong Call

2008-11-19T00:02:00.000-08:00

All of us must have got about a million calls from people asking for the wrong person, its quite common...

But people often just dismiss the party at the other end by saying "Sorry, Wrong Number" or "Please check the number", or "Fuck Off!!"

Rarely do we interact...and this interaction was quite funny:

+919823095113

James Bond: Quantum Of Solace Movie Review

2008-11-07T11:22:00.000-08:00

James Bond's moved on from Sean Connery's "sh"'s and Pierce Brosnan's style to a curt, wild and superstrong superagent.... atleast thats what the initial half hour of the movie proves to the mass.

Famous as he has become, Craig as the new Bond has maintained his image with a wealth of effort going in the stunt scenes, which coupled with the excellent cinematography and wonderful editing makes the movie even juicier.

In what seems to be a movie following the last, Bond is on a mission to uncover a mysterious organisation that even the top security organisations like the CIA and obviously, the MI6, are unaware of. While this is the main story, running in parallel is Bond's personal life which is disturbed by Vesper Lynd's (Eva Green) death, and Bond is out to avenge her death, Craig delivers the role of a person set on a personal and a professional mission wonderfully well.

Teaming up with Bond this time is Olga Kurylenko, incidentally the only Bond Girl I have seen, who gets away with only a smooch from Bond. But 'Quantum...' did not have the time for sexual exploits of bond to come between him and his goal.. or maybe the director just did not want to make a complete action movie steamy.

Although the usual lines of "My Name's Bond, James Bond" & "Vodka Martini, Shaken Not Stirred" are missing from the script, in the end one realises that these lines don't suit Craig the best.

What Craig lacks in Charm, Neatness & make-ladies-want-for-sex attitude, he compensates with his superb dialogue delivery, ruggedness and death defying action sequences. Who knows, we may see a new dimension of Bond if Craig continues with his kick-ass performances.

All in all 'Quantum Of Solace' provides excellent 'Quantum' of action, story telling, cars, and more action and still leaves you wanting for more and also leaving you Shaken & Stirred.

Harry Potter Fan Fictions

2008-08-26T02:04:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered if the seventh book of the legendary Harry Potter saga could have been better??
Being a great Harry Potter and J K Rowling fan I was not convinced with the crap she wrote in the seventh of the series , thus this left me open to nothing but to read fan fictions that I found really better than the seventh one, and I succeeded in finding one.

This story named 'Harry Potter and The Toll Of Destiny' authored by 'Legobean' shows the life of Harry Potter and his friends in a whole new dimension.

The thing that will disturb most of the Potter fans is that this story kicks off in such a situation where the Dark Lord has been vanquished by Harry and he turns into a nomad, wandering places and leaving his favorite family, the Weasleys and the entire world of magic in a state of confusion about his survival after the war.

Some parts in this piece are a bit too exagerated and stoopid... but still I found it better than the 'Happy ever after' shit in the Deathly hallows.

Here's how the author describes the story:

Seven years ago the world awoke to news of an amazing and unthinkable event; good had triumphed over evil once again. A young man had defeated the most powerful dark wizard the world had ever known and saved all wizards from totalitarian rule by a fanatical hate monger. Celebration and good fortune followed. The only problem it seemed was that the champion never returned to join them. Oh he didn’t die, but he was left alone to cope with what he became in the process of seeking victory.

It’s time to pick up the pieces, and return to the wizarding world that everyone assumes has changed for the better. But has it really changed that much?

Good?? Bad?? You decide:

Read It Here

Animator vs. Animation [Revised]

2008-08-26T01:49:00.000-07:00

If you want awesome stuff on the net related to digital art, animation or even sketching and tutorials about any damn skill using software or just your pencil, pen or brush, visit this site:

www.deviantart.com

Please do register on this site, because if you don't, you're bound to find something explicit on your screens!

And the awesome bit I found on animation on Deviantart, its so cool that you'll really appreciate seeing this atleast one time

Click here to view It

Ind -Yeah Rite!

2008-08-15T02:16:00.001-07:00

Its been 61 years since the tricolor (read 'Indian Flag') was first hoisted at Delhi by our first Prime Minister and there has not been a lot of change in India's condition since then, the worst part is things have just begun to be wors'er' than ever.

*The price rise problem is shooting up again, just as it was immediately after freedom...or probably even worse cuz its the highest we've witnessed till date

*Population: Now that's one area where we seem to be 'improvising' every year! One day we'll land up in an era where there won't be any room to have sex, maybe then people will understand, and as for the assholes who think having kids is the proof of one being a perfect man, someone's gonna snap off their cocks

*Corruption is something that has sustained itself through India's 61 years, or probably more than that... its been the same state ever since, not one notch up , not one down...damn! how I wish the population stayed that way!

No, the list does not end there, I'm just too tired to write the entire list down

In the midst of people who don't know what the Olympics is all about some day some person shoots a gold and suddenly you see all the people of the country out on the streets saying:"Yay India got gold!!"

You see, there's no point saying "I proud to be an Indian" when you don't see anything worth being proud of,
maybe one day all this will change, and then, maybe I will too shout out "Yeah , I AM proud of India!!"

Till then, there's no 'Happy' In 'Happy Independence day' for me...its just another normal day, one that has been classified as a public holiday,and one that has some shows associated with..

Happy Independence Day

2008-08-15T00:52:00.000-07:00

आज अपनी आज़ादी बनाओ।
Wow. Blogger's hindi system is complex. Anyway, Happy 15th August.

Prince Of Persia movie, Dark Knight DVD details:

2008-08-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

The Prince Of Persia trilogy is unarguably the best 3D reboot of a 2D franchise alongside Ninja Gaiden. For me, Warrior Within is a separate game itself, and I don't consider it a part of the Prince/Farah storyline. None of the events of WW have any consequence whatsoever and all the secondary characters die. And Two Thrones has us revisiting Persia, and meeting Farah and the Vizier again. So there.

However, for reasons known to themselves, the producers of the Sands Of Time movie have gone with the WW look. IMO, the Sands Of Time costume looked both regal and persian. But considering America's distaste for anything Middle-Eastern, the producers have gone for a bare-chested look on a whiter-than-white Jake Gyllenhaal (Heath Ledger's lover in Brokeback).

Videogame movies have been sucking of late or well...forever. But it could be worse you know, Uwe Boll could've been the director. ;)

*****

In other news, The Dark Knight is scheduled to release on DVD and Blu-Ray on December 9, 2008.

EDIT: The Dark Knight ($441 million) is now the third biggest grossing Hollywood movie of all time - after Titanic ($600 million) and Star Wars ($461 million).

Jannat in text - Part 1.

2008-08-13T04:04:00.000-07:00

Jannat's not a great movie. Not that its a bad movie either. Its an okay movie to watch if you're getting bored at home. I certainly did not feel ripped off on the Rs.50 I spent on the Moser-Baer DVD. But the rest of you might not feel so generous. So here's a gist of the movie that might be more entertaining than the movie itself.

**********************************************************

Our hero, Monkey-Man is sitting on a Mumbai rooftop playing cards. Looking at the cheap Andheri station clothes and a face that would make a mother weep, you can guess that this guy's not loaded with many Benjamins (or in India's case, Gandhis). But rather surprisingly, our guy's playing for big cash, and he's playing blind. At this point, you think that this guy's pretty stupid. And you're right. He loses big-time and goes broke.
Monkey-Man: Fuck.
Best-Friend: Fuck is right asshole. You fucked us over. Fucker.
Monkey-Man: Shut up, noob. I dream big. Im a dreamer. And I'm going to get us some big dough someday.
Best-Friend: You better do something soon fucker. Or else the loan sharks will cut us up.

So what does our dashing dreamer do? Well, first he sells some duplicate stuff to some mall shopkeepers. But even the most retarded bum needs a love interest, no? He sees beautiful girl in mall, follows her like a stalker, and catches her window-shopping for a jewellery.

Monkey-Man: Tujhe ring pasand ayee?
Stupid-Bitch: Haan.
Monkey-Man: Okay.

Monkey-Man goes inside the shop and puts his fist through the display window. Stupid girl looks in disbelief.
Monkey-Man: Le, window break kar di. Let's have sex now.
Stupid-Bitch: What?
Monkey-Man (*apprehended by security*): Atleast naam bata de?
Stupid-Bitch: What?
Monkey-Man: Tumhara naam kya hai? Naam?
Stupid-Bitch: Uh...Zoya.
Monkey-Man: Achcha naam hai.

If I see a creepy, hairy guy break a shopping window, I would stay away from him, let alone tell him my name. But Zoya is one of those stupid stereotypical Bollywood characters. And that's why she's called Stupid-Bitch.

Anyway, Best-Friend bails Monkey-Man out of prison, and loans him his deposit to repay the loan sharks, despite knowing about his best friend's money-spending habits. Henceforth, Best-Friend will be called Stupid-Friend.

Monkey-Man spends cash on buying ring for Stupid-Bitch, stalks her in a taxi, and climbs to her living quarters at night.

Monkey-Man: Zoya! Zoya!
Stupid-Bitch: OMG. Its that mall guy.
Dumb-Roommate: Par yeh Spiderman ki tarah kyon aaya?

Clearly Dumb-Roommate hasn't seen spiderman, because Spiderman:
1. Wore red and blue tights
2. Used web instead of a fucking ladder.
3. Was not a hairy Indian dude.

Stupid-Bitch: I don't know. (*Walks up to Monkey-Man*)
Monkey-Man: Gimme yo' hand bitch.
Stupid-Bitch: What? (*She loves saying this apparantly*)
Monkey-Man: Gimme yo' hand. (*She, being stupid, gives him her hand*)
Monkey-Man: Yo. Got you your ring.
Stupid-Bitch: OMG you're awesome. Let's date.

They didn't start dating though. You need cash for a date, and Monkey-Man had none. And the fact that he needed to repay the loan shark didn't help either. Tune in to 'The Burnt Identity' next time to discover how he um...discovers his gift. And no, its not the ability to shoot web or climb a tree using his tail.

(TO BE CONTINUED....)

P.S. Do not search 'Zoya' in Google images, even by accident.

Dark Knight: Movie Review- Lun@TiK

2008-08-12T01:25:00.000-07:00

Not every superhero requires superpowers to save worlds ass, that's what Batman Begins was all about. On a somewhat similar tone, what the sequel to 'Begins' says is: Not every villain needs a reason to kill. The new movie marks not only the dawn of a new kind of villain but also marks the rise of Christopher Nolan as a brilliant story teller. If 'Begins' was all about a new superhero being made, then 'Dark Knight' is all about how supervillains are made. Nolan outclasses every other director in his league by focusing in on the Joker and Harvey Dent, whose acting is phenomenal, more than the protagonist, a feat that no one else has attempted and one that cannot be matched. The Joker played by Heath Ledger is fantabulous. Heath Ledger's on screen image is such that the audience is attracted to his gimmicks than looking at what is happening at the backdrop. The haphazard makeup, scars and the occasional smacking of lips just makes Ledger a very different Joker that we know from the comics or cartoons. 'Dark Knight' can be categorised as one among the many, or rather the only movie, which combines superb dialogues, wonderful acting, stunning cinematography, dark and murky locations and brilliant editing ,all this while the right pace is still maintained. 'Dark Knight' defines superhero and supervillains in a new dimension still holding on to the fact that it's all about good vs evil, but the battle just got bigger than mere braun power. It is surprising to see that a series that was once least successful has risen from the ashes and is on its way to beat the crap out of other superhero movies. In short:

Dark Knight: Must Watch

Dark Knight Review - Chaos

2008-08-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

You don't have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to enjoy 'The Dark Knight'. The average movie-goer will find enough explosions and heroics in this movie to make it worth his while. Sitting in the theatre with Lun@tik, I got the feeling that most of the people there were indeed 'tools'. You see, Dark Knight is a very smart movie, and you need to pay attention to the finer details to truly appreciate Nolan's vision.

At the very least, the movie's the best superhero movie ever created. Period. It smashes Spidey with a newspaper and makes the Ironman crap his expensive Gold-Titanium alloy suit - that's how great this movie is.

As great as Spidey looks with those acrobatics, he has nothing on the big bat. The Hong Kong scene - which takes place about 20 minutes into the movie - totally takes your breath away. It proves that you don't need radioactive spiders or gamma rays to be a total badass.
And just when you think the movie can't get any better, it gives you the greatest car/tank/bike/truck chase sequence in superhero movie history. To a Batman fan, its like sex on celluloid. Oh, and the finale has you biting your nails.

But the movie is much more than that. It took me 3 views of the movie to aprreciate it. And this is something that the superficial crowd in the theatre could not comprehend. Every single dialogue spoken speaks volumes about the characters and their personalities. Consider this exchange for example:

Alfred: Know your limits, Master Wayne.
Bruce: Batman has no limits, Alfred.
Alfred: But you do, sir.
Bruce: Can't afford to know 'em.
Alfred: And what happens on the day you find out?
Bruce: Well Alfred, you love to say 'I told you so'.
Alfred: On that day, Master Bruce, even I wouldn't want to.

Its quite amusing when this conversation bites Bruce in the ass later on. This is just one of the examples of subtle foreshadowing by Nolan. Harvey's coin, conversations with the Mayor, unwell prisoners, it all makes sense in the end.

Oh, and the cast is absolutely stellar. Michael Caine is awesome. Morgan Freeman is awesome. Gary Oldman is a little more awesome. Cristian Bale is the best Batman ever. Aaron Eckhart gives a heart-wrenching but underappreciated performance as Harvey Dent. And Heath Ledger is absolutely phenomenal.
Maggie Gyllenhall plays the much-despised character Rachel Dawes from 'Begins', taking over from stone-faced Katie Holmes. She is a double-edged sword however; on one hand she gives a convincing performance and gives depth to her character, on the other, she takes away some of the appeal, looking kinda-old in this film.

You can't write a review without mentioning Ledger. No one, and I mean NO ONE would have thought that the gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain would someday play the greatest, most menacing version of Joker seen outside the comics. That he'd rise from kissing Jake Gyllenhall ( incidentally Maggie's brother) to blowing up buildings and cutting people up. Ledger locked himself up in his hotel room for months to perfect this character - and he delivers. His way of delivering his lines - to every little twitch he does with his body - is absolutely delicious. Everytime he's not on screen, you think to yourself what kind of stuff he's doing, what he's planning. And he always exceeds your expectations.

Oh, and Eckhart plays a tragic Dent perfectly. His performance is as amazing as Ledger's if not better. But ledger's demise has overshadowed it somewhat. Nonetheless, Eckhart's two-face is the most believable villain in comic book cinema. His fall from grace is the focal point of the movie, and his character is well-contrasted with Batman - the White Knight VS the Dark Knight - both vigilantes, both trying to end corruption, both wronged by the society.

Looks like I got a bit of writer's block while writing this - seeing how long I made this review. In conclusion, you're an idiot if you don't watch this movie. It's the kind of movie that you talk to all your friends about after you've seen it. Oh, and it gave me a kickass quote:

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain".

An emotional song.

2008-08-11T23:20:00.001-07:00

I've got to be honest here. I consider myself a a guy with a tough exterior. But rarely, there comes a song that penetrates my prickly exterior and fills my charred heart with rainbows and bunnies. This song made me cry, and I'm sure reading the lyrics will make you appreciate the subtle beauty of this masterpiece.

"Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all you do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that you're the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when you get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like you anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever,
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls"

- Rodney Carrington's "Dear Penis"

Oh, and the song can be found here.

Ashhh...Volatile!!

2008-08-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

Ashhh (6 Months Old)

This post is dedicated to one of my best mates who recently quit our college and joined elsewhere....Ashhhh!
To not make this post sound gayingly annoying, I'll just list the moments we spent together
(except the bathroom ones....and naked thursdays)
1.The day when me and you went to the loo...and you played music...and i could not shit because i wanted the peace to do my business...
2.The day when you said I'm goin to study now...and went off to sleep soon enough
3.The day you confessed that you were not gay
4.The day when you said I look like prince of persia ...and then told the rest of the group that i actually was looking like a drunk retard with a showel stuck up in the ass
5.The day when you said someone photographed you in the toilet and caused quite an issue ...till you found out that it was your own camera..

Man!!Those were the days!! What fun we had then ...hope we'll still be in touch...and as long as you'll read this shitpot of mine I ain't forgettin ya!!

PS:For naked ashhh pics send requests to shitpot@thinkgoo.com
Parental guidance required for girls in my college
None what so evaah for the guys!!

Detour! Back 2 School

2008-07-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

It was that tym of the year when all the dumasses pack their bags for their 9 month hibernation period..
Contrary to wat my frends on campus would believe (this post is not on how I got a heart attack when i saw the campus all dug up .. to know more read :"How I Wet My Pants" By Lun@Tik's Lea kingDick...he's scandinavian)..I write this post on my encounters along my way on the train..

So here goes:

*The moment I got onto the train there were these two idiots in the same compartment claiming that shirpur was almost lyk mumbai...I felt like ripping my pants open and pee down their stupid head and contaminate their vocal cords with urea..

*Next on...there was this child who was going all loopy and running down the aisle (for my shirpur batchmatesyeah..thts found in trains too!) shouting something lyk: Aai aai aai ...this went till midnight wen the boy went off to sleep with his dad, who snored lyk a hippo

*At around 6 in the morning i woke up to an alarm...not that i set in my phone..instead i was awakened by a Loud FART and the culprit shamelessly slept on..and i suffered the horrible smell that burned the inners of my nose..

Thts all about it...as i reached the campus..arose the desperate desire to see er...um..."HER" soon....

A desire that would not be true until next morning...

The 3 Weirdest Songs I Like.

2008-07-03T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hello. I'm Chaos, the co-author of this blog. No, that's not my real name. My parents weren't high on crack when they named me. This is my first post, and being out of ideas, I decided that I'd share some of the more obscure songs in my collection.

Im sure all of you have "guilty pleasure" songs on your iPods that you don't want to listen to in front of other people. This list is a compilation of those 'wierd' songs I like. Don't give LuN@TiK a hard time though. I think two people posting on a blog gives a nice change of pace.

On with the list then:

#1 Robyn - Handle Me

Robyn's not your cookie-cutter pop diva. She's not what you'd call ...um.. classically beautiful. In fact, she looks like a guy. Jokes aside, she definitely has a distinct feminine charm about her, and it makes her different from your Britney and Madonnas.
'Handle Me' is one of her better songs. Sharp lyrics, catchy beats, what can possibly go wrong? Check the video out and you'd know.
Imagine an ugly marionette with blond hair and huge black eyebrows, wearing a chessboard for pants (alternating with green slacks), fucking a giant teddy bear on a white wall. The sad part is, you don't have to imagine. Just click on the link below.
Did I say she had a distinct feminine charm? Screw dat. All Robyn has in this video is dresses from Armani's worst nightmare. Freaky bitch.
The Video.

#2 The Presets - My People

If Techno's your genre, this single from the Australian band is the ultimate epitome of badass. It's a song about the atrocities inflicted on Australian prisoners in detention centres (though its hard to tell).
What makes the song weird for some? The vocals sound like a cross between the sound a water buffalo makes while undergoing a vasectomy and the cries made by David Hasselhoff when he is being violated by a gorilla. The huge bass doesn't help either.
The video's just the icing on the cake. A satanist and a hyperactive retard walk on the moon and keep duplicating.or something like that.
The song still kicks major ass though.
The Video.

#3 Timbaland - Scream
Timbaland's 'Scream' is as sexy as songs get - for the first 3.5 minutes atleast. The songs got a few cheesy sexual innuendos ("Can I have some of your cookies? Can I have some of your pie?"), but Nicole Sherzinger and Keri Hilson's seductive moans make this the perfect song to play in the car on a third date.
This song breaks the 'Good song - weird video' of the previous songs for the opposite. Skipping after the 3:45 mark would be a good idea, unless you want to hear Timbaland trying to woo his girl by whispering sweet nothings on tape. Its between 'uncomfortable' and 'sickening'. Seriously, imagining Timbaland's nude hairy figure on the beach makes me lose wood faster than an old man's pea-cock up my ass.
This part is removed from the music video of the song. But the unabridged fan-video has the song in its entirety.
The Video.

"Rash"eed?

2008-06-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Please Click On the image
To see what it contains
(I mean the red box over rashi's head)

Agreed that I love the song by Rashid Ali....but i might consider Himesh Reshammiya if I the contender is "Rash"E Mor...lol..cuz this female has a wonderfully ear bombarding voice that ..er..bombards ur ear! Our results were out today and I was in the mood of calling every1 and talking shit (No..thats not the after effect of reading namrata's blog...it safe..trust me...read it here...give it a try!)...so i reached this point where I had to call none other than:

(Introduction WWE style)

Aged 18, Doing MBA tech IT,
Having 132.15 expressions/sec
on her face

Rashi Mor

Now it would not be better to put the stuff we tokd on phone in a paragraph....so lemme put it in a better manner to make my blog not too much HIFI...(now...was it so?)

Me:Wazzzzhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap
She:Hulo?! (Expression #142:Confusion mingled with fear and more confusion)
Me:Wassssup?
She:Kaun Hai (Expression #92:Urmila Look From Booth..)
Me:Abbas bol raha hoon
She:Sach Batao...who is this?? (Expression #49:Confused toad)
Me:Arre seriously its me..who else dd u think u think wud call ya?
She:oh ok...kya hua? (Expression #23:Confused elephant with a mouse under its feet)
Me:Congrats
She:No rats are not found only in congo...they are also in india! (Expression #ramanujams no)
Me:Arey i meant congratulations... (*rolling on floor laughing*)
She(pause 5 seconds...prolly trying to figure out wat expression she should try to have on her face):Haan Bol...tnx
Me:Kissi Se baat hua?
She:Haan sabse baaat hua..
Me:I can't get wait to get back to college and wait for the calender to hit august...
She:Y are u gettin married den?
Me:(*Rolling so hard on floor..that the cordless' antenna pokes me where it shouldnt have and i ultimately stop rolling*)Y wud i get married?I'm Just waitin for the next batch to come...lots of nu ppl to meet then...
She:(*Evil Warlord look from Around the World in 80 days*) Okay...promise me that u won't put this on ur blog..
Me:I'll think bout it..Wat have u bin doin this vacation?
She:Swimming...C\C++ classes
Me:How can a person study during vacations?...I mean thats worse than u and pranay talking!
She:HAan tujhe toh yahi lagasjdhk,uhjgafggsjdgfksujdhfhksjhdflkskdjflskdjhf

(The author Apologises for the above..he could not understand
the words because they were strewn at a speed of around
324 miles/hr..thts faster than a rocket)

Me:Abe aaraam se bol naa...kuchch samajh me nahin aa raha hai!

She:(Speaking Gibberish)...Acchamainabhiclassjarahihoonillchkurbloglater
Me:I SAID SLOW DOWN!!!
She:Accha main abhi class ja rahi hoon ill chk ur blog later
Me:Fyn...chalo congo again!!

While Rashi chked her dictionary out to find out whether
Congo is a verb or a country...I forgot about the promise
and wrote the entire conversation in the blog ;)

PS:Some of the sections in this conversation are exagerated... The Author does not intend to make fun of any person except the persons in the conversation..including himself All the people who have read this post and those who do not comment will be turned to dingbats and kumquats if they say "Poor Rashi" or "LuN@TiK's Mad!" Njoi!

New Recipe: Stuffed Capsicum Umbrellas

2008-06-21T07:27:00.000-07:00

Since I'v had nuthin to do except sit at home idle...and blog...or orkut..I'v come up with a recipeg thats bin tested and tried on my mum, dad and my sis...if u 2 have a similar schedule for the ongoing vacations...do try it out:

Ingredients:
Potatoes 2
Tomato 1
Oil
Capsicum 2
Onions 1
Garam Masala
Chilli Powder
Salt

1-Steam the potatoes to make them soft...so they are easy to peel...and so that u can mash it up real quickly..

2-Cut up the tomato into cubes, shred the onions

3-Put some oil into a pan...saute the onions...put some ginger-garlic paste in with the onions and saute 'til onions become golden brown...this is the part wen the aroma really gets into ur head...or atleast it got to mine!

If u don't lyk ginger garlic paste being put in...just use some garlic oil for the aroma..

4-Add in the mashed potatoes and the tomatoes and the masala(to taste), chilli powder (to taste),salt(to taste), crushed black pepper(to taste)....and mix em up really well...

5-Now just stir the stuffing mixture and allow it to simmer til the potatoes are done well....ask ur mums for assistance..to tell you wen its done...or simply u just need to have a good judgement to stop at the right stage..

6-Kip the stuffing mix aside...and take the capsicum on the chopping board..

7-Take off the top of the capsicum...and remove the seeds from within...to who like spicy stuff shud however let them stay there...or just a little of it so u can the stuff the mix in...

8-Stuff the mixture into the cavity...and coat the sides of the capsicum with oil...just a little of it..so it roasts properly...

9-Roll the umbrellas on a hot pan so that the sides get roasted well....or u can just kip the umbrellas in the microwave, just so the sides of the umbrella get roasted enuff...

10-Garnish with cilantro and mint...serve hot..

Enjoi!

Master Chef Lun@TiK

Daddy's Day Out

2008-06-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

Quite well known it is that Father's Day was on last sunday...but wat is not known is, we wished our mum a happy fathers day...and did the exact opposite on mothers day (cuz he dus most of the cooking stuff with me)...and wat was even more humorous was 'twas only today that dad figured out that we wished mum instead of him...that kinda furiated him....and he left home for work today....only to realise that he was being stupid..(and partly bcoz my mum was reaching her boiling point)...so he took a U-turn and came back home...but in the meanwhile...when he stopped at the buildings gate, (to no ones surprise..) the watchman wasnt there...

And there he took out all his frustration on him

Hear it urself:

Download Clip

Spider Pig

2008-06-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

Now every1 knows that the simpsons movie (on the big screen) released almost a year back..but i'm sure that some of the dummies rotting lyk me would not have watched the movie...no issues wid dat...I'm gettin the movie to the hostel neways..

But the scene embedded below IS a MUST watch...even if u don't see the simpsons series...

Chk It Out:

MTV Tickr

2008-06-20T03:54:00.000-07:00

8:00 am in the morning...the TV is blastin on the top of my head....cuz i don't have a room ne mo' ..my sis threw me out...i gotta sleep on the sofa cum bed in the living room...so much for bein' the elder one...'MAN.... LYF SUX!@#$'...and started tuning into evry channel on Tata Sky..and finally settled for MTV..With the brush in my mouth I just sat...er...brushing my teeth and watchin' the A.RRahman Hit from Yuva....but it was no longer that the song caught my eye...er...ears..watever..

I Saw wat could possibly be the most interesting thing I could be interested in the interest of my interest that wat I would be rather interested in would no longer interest me 'til I lose interest in my current object of interest...

Kewl!!!I just made that up in wat....10 seconds?!!

Anyways...my attention was drawn towards this tickr tape that flashed on the bottom of the screen..and flashed all kindsa stupid msgs...which kinda got me 'interested'..lol...here they are:

1-A rich lady died, and left her dog 'Trouble' Rs. 51 Crores

2-Trouble is now in trouble, cuz Rs. 43 crores was then taken for charity

3-This Tikrs' GF thinks Akki is hot in 'Singh Is King'

4-If ur GF thinks so too, then u better drool over the gals in splitsvilla...

5-Emraan Hashmi and Soha Ali Khan to star in a movie to be directed by 'Jannat' Director

6-The story is about a couple stranded...er..kissing in mumbai floods..

Thts all i can remmbr...there was lot of other shit to read too...smin bout yana gupta's boyfriend being found in her lingerie closet....or was that the toilet??...i don't remmbr..

Now, while I try to take the trouble to think over how to get trouble's 43 crores without gettin into any trouble and take the trouble of postin smin new tomorow..cya gays later!

*oops spelt that wrong ;)

Buzz OFF!!

PS:If any one does watch channel V for as long as I do...pls chk out the new ad....the one with vjs Neil and pia ...bout the impress idol..for the idiots who don't ...start watchn the channel

"Clubbed" By The Sandwich

2008-06-19T11:39:00.001-07:00

Before Bein Clubbed

After Bein Clubbed..

Now, that person is not dyslexic....infact he's one of the brightest programmers of the country (ranked 15th in ICPC)....neways thts not the discussion we have on our hands here

This guy's a really good childhood frend o' mine...and we all...that is to say, his, and my family went to shirdi to visit the saibaba sansthan....and on our way back...owing to our very hungry bellies, had to snack it out at some famous motel..

On seeing the place no one would question the services made available...but the structure simply canvased the truth from any outsider...

The reason the guy looks lyk he got kikd in the nuts is elaborated below:

We went into the motel..and he ordered a club sandwich..and my sis ordered a simple veg sandwich...
The service tym was quite good...the sanwiches arrived...and my frend was 'clubbed' on the head...
Apparently the only difference between a club and normal sandwich was only a slice of pineapple...
and that made it expensive than the normal one by Rs.40...wtf!@$#$%%

And that was enuff to 'club' him...

There goes another programmer to the lunatic asylum...

and it is rumored that he'll be hung to death...you know with the rope...noose watever

This reminds me of the old sayin...and the dialogue in Robin Hood: Men In Tights

No Noose Like Good Noose

...okay...chug off that stupid look on your face..that meant shit..

WATEVER!!

May his soul rest in peacce and haunt the pineapple slice forever!!

PS:For all the dummies: ICPC stands for International Collegiate Programming Contest..or smin lyk that

Harry Ginny Hug From HBP!!!

2008-06-12T03:17:00.000-07:00

Tis the scene most of us fans....or atleast I have bin waitin for....Harry Potter hugs Ginny Weasley...

Awwww!! Ain't that cute!!!

Prequel To Harry Potter released

2008-06-12T03:08:00.000-07:00

All the harry potter fans out there....dis post has some good stuff for ya'll...and believe me wen i say it is ...cuz it contains the prequel to harry potter....I wonder how I failed to notice prequels in any of the harry potter books...neways..tis bit written by none 0ther than J.K.Rowling sold yesterday at a charity auction for 25000 pounds...

Here it is now..

PREQUEL

The speeding motorcycle took the sharp corner so fast in the darkness that both policemen in the pursuing car shouted 'whoa!' Sergeant Fisher slammed his large foot on the brake, thinking that the boy who was riding pillion was sure to be flung under his wheels; however, the motorbike made the turn without unseating either of its riders, and with a wink of its red tail light, vanished up the narrow side street.

'We've got 'em now!" cried PC Anderson excitedly. 'That's a dead end!"

Leaning hard on the steering wheel and crashing his gears, Fisher scraped half the paint off the flank of the car as he forced it up the alleyway in pursuit.

There in the headlights sat their quarry, stationary at last after a quarter of an hour's chase. The two riders were trapped between a towering brick wall and the police car, which was now crashing towards them like some growling, luminous-eyed predator.

There was so little space between the car doors and the walls of the alley that Fisher and Anderson had difficulty extricating themselves from the vehicle. It injured their dignity to have to inch, crab-like, towards the miscreants. Fisher dragged his generous belly along the wall, tearing buttons off his shirt as he went, and finally snapping off the wing mirror with his backside.

'Get off the bike!' he bellowed at the smirking youths, who sat basking in the flashing blue light as though enjoying it.

They did as they were told. Finally pulling free from the broken wind mirror, Fisher glared at them. They seemed to be in their late teens. The one who had been driving had long black hair; his insolent good looks reminded Fisher unpleasantly of his daughter's guitar-playing, layabout boyfriend. The second boy also had black hair, though his was short and stuck up in all directions; he wore glasses and a broad grin. Both were dressed in T-shirts emblazoned with a large golden bird; the emblem, no doubt, of some deafening, tuneless rock band.

'No helmets!' Fisher yelled, pointing from one uncovered head to the other. 'Exceeding the speed limit by - by a considerable amount!' (In fact, the speed registered had been greater than Fisher was prepared to accept that any motorcycle could travel.) 'Failing to stop for the police!'

'We'd have loved to stop for a chat,' said the boy in glasses, 'only we were trying -'

'Don't get smart - you two are in a heap of trouble!' snarled Anderson. 'Names!'

'Names?' repeated the long-haired driver. 'Er - well, let's see. There's Wilberforce... Bathsheba... Elvendork...'

'And what's nice about that one is, you can use it for a boy or a girl,' said the boy in glasses.

'Oh, OUR names, did you mean?' asked the first, as Anderson spluttered with rage. 'You should've said! This here is James Potter, and I'm Sirius Black!'

'Things'll be seriously black for you in a minute, you cheeky little -'

But neither James nor Sirius was paying attention. They were suddenly as alert as gundogs, staring past Fisher and Anderson, over the roof of the police car, at the dark mouth of the alley. Then, with identical fluid movements, they reached into their back pockets.

For the space of a heartbeat both policemen imagined guns gleaming at them, but a second later they saw that the motorcyclists had drawn nothing more than -

'Drumsticks?' jeered Anderson. 'Right pair of jokers, aren't you? Right, we're arresting you on a charge of -'

But Anderson never got to name the charge. James and Sirius had shouted something incomprehensible, and the beams from the headlights had moved.

The policemen wheeled around, then staggered backwards. Three men were flying - actually FLYING - up the alley on broomsticks - and at the same moment, the police car was rearing up on its back wheels.

Fisher's knees bucked; he sat down hard; Anderson tripped over Fisher's legs and fell on top of him, as FLUMP - BANG - CRUNCH - they heard the men on brooms slam into the upended car and fall, apparently insensible, to the ground, while broken bits of broomstick clattered down around them.

The motorbike had roared into life again. His mouth hanging open, Fisher mustered the strength to look back at the two teenagers.

'Thanks very much!' called Sirius over the throb of the engine. 'We owe you one!'

'Yeah, nice meeting you!' said James. 'And don't forget: Elvendork! It's unisex!'

There was an earth-shattering crash, and Fisher and Anderson threw their arms around each other in fright; their car had just fallen back to the ground. Now it was the motorcycle's turn to rear. Before the policemen's disbelieving eyes, it took off into the air: James and Sirius zoomed away into the night sky, their tail light twinkling behind them like a vanishing ruby.

Confessions Of @ B!TC|-|

2008-06-12T02:07:00.000-07:00

As the title may seem really interesting, so is this post...bcoz it has three things to make it so:

1-This post holds the revelation to the most important revelation that the revelation that will be made in the third point to the nth power of infinity of the bacteria in the wizengamot of fungi

2-The second important thing is that the first point was shit....and the true contents regarding the title is written in the the third point

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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3-This point contains the revelation to the heading....

Hold on to ur seats

the most mysterious mystery is about

to be exploded in the next few lines

I wrote that heading cuz

I had nuthin else to think of

and

this post is complete shit

and was designed aesthetically to waste ur tym

SUCKAAAASSS!!!

XPS wallpaper

2008-06-11T05:37:00.000-07:00

Created this one for ma lappie's desktop....thot that othrs can use it too...

Netherland 3-0 Italia

2008-06-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday had to be one of the most remarkable matches of Euro '08 when two superpowers challenged each other...one of them being the reigning world champions....The match turned out to be shocker...Nederlands beat Italia by a margin of three goals!

Thats something for a team....especially if one has not won against the same opponents for a thirty years....

Now if this was something to be celebrated over, there were other precious moments of the match...ones that could be only happening if the commentator was english...

1-I still don't know why the english commentators have to include a 'r' to a name that ends with an 'a'

How does Lucar toni sound??.... or Andrear Pirlo??? or worse Italiar???

For gods sake leave the name of the country alone!!

I wonder if i had to put the events in points....seeing that I don't remember any more now...wtf!@#!$...

Any ways

Sayonaraa'r'...

LOLZ!!

Netherland Wallpaper (Euro 2008)

2008-06-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

Heres a wallpaper for all the netherland fans out there....watch Euro 2008 ...

Support Your Team

Euro Wallpapers by ~Lun@TiK

2008-06-09T01:55:00.000-07:00

Euro Wallpapers Released by Lun@Tik Aka Dagr8critic.....
njoi! and support your team...

Recordando Su

2008-06-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

I was just listening to the songs given by friend 'Langda' (Author of the best read blog:The Maimed Teacher...link can be found in my sidebar)...and I heard this song that reminded me of 'Su'...now thats in spanish...go figure out wat it means urself..the music was just too good and so were the lyrics....chk it out:

El Nuevo Príncipe?

2008-06-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

The New Prince Of Persia

I was just browsing thru Ubisoft's website and I found out that they are bout to release their new game, Prince Of Persia...now it is well known that the earlier prince series had The Two Thrones as the last part...and FINALLY the story of that prince HAS ENDED...Yes Thats rite...Ubisoft's new venture will have a 'All new prince and all new story' says Ben Mattes, Producer of the game....I wonder watever happened to Jerry Bruckheimer....must be producing the next season of amazing race...or The Pirates of the Caribbean Celebratioon Party...Who cares???

Here's the link to the new promo video out from Ubi...

Welcome the new Prince!!

Watch The Video!

Más Fondos

2008-06-07T03:37:00.000-07:00

Finally I managed to create my first aurora wallpaper using photoshop...

Download It

No Se Puede Pensar En Un Nombre

2008-06-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

It seems not all of us are just sitting idle.....our very own UD has launched his own site...containing the links of five other forums he's created...which contains topics that we could certaily learn from...currently he is only in need of one thing: readers...and members...please do visit the superb site: Uday's Web Page

While uday cooked up his surprise...I made my own...naah not a wallpaper...instead a memento for some1 special...

Click on the image to see what it contains...

Alguien Especial

Les créatures Part II

2008-06-06T04:41:00.000-07:00

Lathes

Since i was writin the previous part of this post half asleep, listenin to Sean Kingston's Take You There, I misssed a few of creatures undefined...

The following are categorized as Mazdoors:

Tr@y Des@i: Ye old lathe machine...kips etchin pieces of shit and givs them to us to duplicate..

Abhishek Gupt@: One could call him the mega nano tech enabled lathe...cuz he has his faithful 13" lappie wid him always...dunno wat he dus wid dat...cuz i think its a bit too big for just clickin pix of himself...who knows...he mite be usin it for that still!

Oh yeah if you do want some sleep i would suggest Sean Kingston's Take You There..

Its embedded in the blog's sidebar

New Wallpaper

2008-06-06T00:24:00.000-07:00

Heres Some more wallpapers...in case ne1 reads the blog and actually clicks on the image...or download it....WTF!!!@#$

Yo, mi caballo y los otros

2008-06-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

Ésta soy yo y mi caballo
(Click To Enlarge)
(No Thats not what is written in Spanish)

No thats not a gal...thts me pony tail....my sis made it for me....unfortunately for my pony, it got snipped two days after this picture was taken...but Shruts still lost the challenge...my pony is bigger than hers...

I have been recieving many complaints from persons who want to be included them in the definition list i posted earlier...I would have posted them too..had it not been a bit too hard for my brain to define them as tiny kumquats...

Now that I am in a better position...tht is to say wide awake....I mite have a chance of writin a few lines for them too...

Who knows I might even write bout them in the EUNUCHS category...lol....

Viaje En El Tren

2008-06-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

Just got bored with ze french headings....and it seemed as tho evry1 has a personal greviance against the french...I don't know but for me its always 'Viva La France'

But I had to change the title to spanish cuz the french 1's did never attract nethin...so for now its 'French is for suckers'....hell...whatever!

And if people still don't read my posts...i simply have to search google language tools for another nice lang!!

Today lyk always was a rather dull day...till 9 am cuz after that i had to wake up and leave for ma homie ashhh's place...me n Nik...and guess wat we had to go by Local Trains!!

Now if you don't what is so special bout that...here's the fact: I HAVE NEVER TRAVELLED IN A LOCAL.....AND I'M SCARED OF WHATEVER WILL HAPPEN TO ME IF I EVER WILL...

But we had no choice..and so i had to go, for that was the only means of fastest transport to a distant place in the city...so yeah we went to the station, got the tickets...and as quickly as it had started...the good part got over!!

And now...it was tym to show real muscle!...or bone...

Nik said that if the crowd was too much we would have to push our way into the train...or did he just tell me to stand and get pushed by the crowd?...I don't exactly know cuz there was so much crowd that I thot a hawker standin beside me was nik!!....YUk yuk!!

Now that I got pushed into the train....and got squeezed into a space what would have a seat had there been no fatass men around...I was set to go to Ashh's place..

Now throughout my journey I could not figure out one thing...Nik knew all the exits and all the stations...It seemed as tho he made the lines...he also was making funny directions in the air as he spoke "Now once we turn at around 1 degree due east of this line...we'll reach Ghatkopar"...I thot that this guy must have been learning the routes by heart from the 0th grade...

And then I saw it...he was just tracing a map on the ceiling of the train...which had evrything on it.....rite from stations to big red dots...that I thot were really IMPORTANT stations but ended up realising that they were just the residue of the pan that people spit out...

And seeing this I rrealised something else...HOW COULD A PERSON SPIT ON THE CEILING....AND THE SPIT STAYS THERE?????

NOW THATS ADHESIVE...

Click To Enlarge

I'll continue the rest of the shit in the next post..cuz I want to do what I do best...sleep straight for 12 hours....

KiP readin'

Moi Et Mes Créations

2008-06-05T11:40:00.000-07:00

L@tely...ie in the past few weeks, as my earlier posts suggest..i have nuthin to do @ home...except yeah, write feeds that almost no1 reads often..and even if they do, NEVER EVER COMMENT ON IT...I mean, WTF??! thats awful for any poster man....understand the situation..

But recently I seem to have come up with several activities to keep me busy...one of them led to the creation of my very own painfully bad ear piercing music ( for those who don't know what i'm on about, please read the earlier post)

The other luckily seems to be 1 i was forever interested in....

ART

But this tym its quite different...I'v bin drawing not on paper, but on my screen...using tools like Photoshop and corel draw...aint that cool...so I felt i should show the invisible and incorigible readers of this blog, some of my creations..

Donc, ici, ils sont les suivants:

Fire By ~dagr8critic

Blue Flame by ~dagr8critic

ReMikS

2008-06-03T23:24:00.000-07:00

These holidays have been aweful...seriously...theres NOTHING to do!! I Always wondered back in college when we had those tight schedules..what it would be lyk to remain at home doin nuthin all day long...now i guess i WONT EVER think bout it again....NEVER!

Guess blogging is one of the perks...or not??

Who cares??

Neways I have this friend o' mine who has a really kewl software collection..like photoshop, Virtual DJ Full ver, Office 07 Enterprise edition Full...u know all da important stuff for a person lyk me who thrives on computers...and I took the Virtual DJ thing...thot i would a few mixes...just to see what it was all about...

And guess what i ended up creating my own trance music!!

Now for a first timer lyk me...it is quite an achievement...
or may b not

Who cares again??
to dowload the music, here's the link
Abs2.mp3
...njoi......suffer...DANG!....whatever

Who's D@ F**k??

2008-06-02T11:33:00.001-07:00

With the preparations for the end of year exam goin' on...me and my group o beeyatches were havin fun...as always...anyways thts not the point..there's this rreading room thats above our room...and there were these dumass gals doin' timepass..throwin down water and sissy shit lyk that...now what gal does those things??
i mea..iv heard of all shitty things from gals...but water throwin....WTF??!!
Someones gotta take care o' this.....
Hard Dick took the responsibility of blastin these nuiantical nutters!!(wazzat??!)

He just came in said: "Who's Da Fuck?!"

and with these magical words..the pee from above stopped!!

As the muggles say:"He came, He said, He conquered!!"

Rock On Dicky!!

Les créatures

2008-06-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

Zese are ze people I met in my first year o' college...and something about zem 2:

WARNING
Reader Discretion Advised
THE MALES

Pranay Mathur: Ze god of english...introduces his own dialects...and words (WTF IS ZONAR???)
Naman Maharaja: Ze abominable crude fellow bitch o' mine...partners in crime..loud speaker
Uday Mittal: Ze God o' Ye Old Machine...bit confused all the time tho...or worried...aah 4get it!
Nitesh Kumar: Ye Old Witty man..with ye old bihari brilliance (is that combo valid??)
Nikhar Oza: Ye Ol' Hothead gujju...pathetic playwrite
Rewat: Ye ol' nomad!! seeing as he never is in his room!
Ashhhhh: Ye ol' miser, fellow dumass!
Jaju: Ye ol' smokin kid! partner in warfare....and CS masterr
Body: Ye ol' body...god of muscularity and fellow bitchass!
Baba: Ye ol' wisdom guru...with the ol' beard
Hard Dick: Ye guy wid the hard dick! or was that soft...dont remmbr it!

THE FEMALES

Nami P: Ye Gal...who i'm still workin on!
'Mor'e: Ye ol' open mouthed mistress of expressions...she could give all the actresses in the industry a run for their money....trully committed enemy!
K8ki: Ye ol' gal who could give rash' a run for her money...darling ur close but not close enuff on those expressions..
Kishor E: Ye Ol' dumass gal!
V33na: Ye Ol' scholar!!
Jir3: ye ol' shoulder to cry on...on the gals side..

THE EUNUCHS

Unfortunately enuf no1s qualified for this category...shoot!!

moi!

2008-06-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

1 Year Ago:
I entered college with a heart of steel, and the resolve to have less fun...more studies...and STRICTLY NO GALFREND!!!!!....But things took a turnover.....as expected....

Now:
Contradicting ALL my above statements, this 1 year I have transformed....there was no longer the resolution (tnx to ze frenz)...and the heart of steel was molten into a puddle of ..well..uh..hell knows!
(tnx to the gal of my dreams...nightmares...whatever!)

so what did i do in the period between??

Met new creatures...met THE GAL...

I TRANSFORMED!!